Potty training advice

Getting the timing right
As with most things, timing is everything! My first son Hugo was 2½years old at the height of summer – so potty training was incredibly simple as we spent a lot of time outdoors/on the beach and it was easy to get him to “go” as he generally didn’t have a nappy on, or was wearing a Bio-Baba cloth nappy/diaper. However, with son number two, Todd, 2½years old, time for potty training came slap bang in the middle of winter, meaning that he was wrapped up for a Cape Town with snow on the mountains. No matter how much I tried, he was not going to sit on the cold toilet seat/potty – can’t say I blame him! The point here is that the key to potty-training success is starting only when your son is truly able to do so.

Some children can start as young as 1½ years; others don’t seem interested until they are over 4years! Since boys have to learn to point their equipment rather than sit, they often train slightly slower than girls, so don’t worry if you had a girl who trained a bit earlier; also second children often train earlier – although, this wasn’t the case for me. The bottom line is that the child will only train when ready – trying to force the issue (by insisting for example, that he sit on a freezing cold “loo” seat in the middle of winter!) – is not going to get you to nappy free days any faster. By the same extent, if there has been any change to routine such as the arrival of a new sibling or starting a new school, the advent of a potty training schedule might be too much. Wait until your son is in a good routine and then go for it!

Check out how others do it!
All toddlers learn by imitation so watching Dad or an older brother getting it right is a natural first step. (Here’s hoping that they also lift the seat!) Being naturally curious, your son will probably notice that Mums sit on the loo, whilst boys stand…which is a good time to point out some physical differences between boys and girls.


Getting the right training equipment
Living in South Africa and having such wonderful weather most of the year I think makes a potty less necessary than in cooler countries as toddlers are more likely to “go” in the garden than have to go inside to use a potty the whole time. Most experts do advise buying a potty so that your son can claim some kind of ownership over it and feel less intimidated than having to use a big toilet straight away (which can be scary, especially if they fear falling into it!). There are quite cool training seats which can fit on top of a regular toilet. If you opt for this, make sure you get a little stool for them to be able to stand on and point at the porcelain otherwise you might have quite a wet floor. At my son’s playschool they have a great little ladder which makes it look most inviting to go to the toilet – keep it fun. A Mum I know even put some ‘Flings’ in the loo for her son to use as target practice! I didn’t try this myself as, knowing Todd, he would have fished them out afterwards!

There are also some great books that feature toddlers using the potty, along with their little stuffed toys (who all need to go too!). In the beginning stages I found it useful to read books like this and then go and find Todd’s potty and ‘play’ going to the toilet (along with various furry friends). As the game progressed over several days, we eventually got some action and much celebration, “How clevers” etc. Much cheering, of course, from the stuffed toys!

Using some hype
Since the advent of the disposable nappy, the average age of potty training has risen dramatically as children are kept permanently dry and can no longer learn to associate wee-ing with being wet.

Since Bio-Baba nappies make fantastic training pants, I strongly advise using something like this to bridge the gap between being in nappies full time and in underpants. If your child has been wearing disposables prior to potty training, it would be a very good investment to buy at least 5 Bio-Baba nappies (with extra hemp inserts) to use as night nappies or at those times when you may not be so positive about your son’s timings e.g. “doing” a “large number” whilst in the car or at a restaurant. You really do want to avoid having to get cross because he has ‘had an accident’ and since Bio-Baba nappies look so cool with their bright colours, you can create some hype around wearing ‘big boy’ nappies and/or undies.

If your child has been wearing Bio-Babas from ‘tiny to tot’, they should be training, on average, about 6 months before their peers in disposable nappies.

Co-ordinating routine
There is absolutely no point in trying to potty train your son if you do not co-ordinate your routine with all of his caregivers. If he is in daycare or is looked after by a caregiver or granny, then everyone needs to be on the same page, ie. taking him to the toilet and doing and saying the same things as you. If relatives do not have a potty – then make sure he can take his own if staying there for extended periods of time.


Watching for signs
Teaching everyone involved to watch for the “signs” is also a good step towards successful potty training. The most obvious signs are when your son is clutching himself or hopping up and down in one place; you can also make sure that he goes before and after going in the car (just like Mum or Dad), also after he has had something to drink. Consistency is also key, and the more time your child spends out of nappies the better…positively reinforce all the successful toilet trips and avoid scolding for any accidents; this is more likely to keep him in nappies, rather than get him out of them!


Rewards & fun
I have mentioned my friend who put “Flings” in the toilet for target practice…whilst this may not have worked for me – the idea behind it was good – FUN! A little girl at Todd’s school sits for AGES on the toilet whilst reading a book – so if you have a little bookworm, putting some of his favourite stories to read whilst having a go is a good idea. You can also try rewarding your toddler with the good old sticker chart for whenever he goes successfully.


Night time
Only attempt this once your child has successfully potty trained during the day as night training is quite tricky since your boy will have to ‘hold it in’ the whole night. It is a really good idea to buy a good mattress protector since this will take away some of the stress of leaving your child without a nappy for the whole night.

Many of my clients have children who are successfully potty trained during the day, but then stay in disposable ‘Night Nappies’ for years afterwards since the older child realizes that they can wee in a night nappy, no problem. This is why it is important to try something like a Bio-Baba first for potty training so that the child actually realizes that he is wet. You can then also try nappy free nights if you check the Bio-Baba in the morning and see that it is dry for several nights in a row.

You can also help by limiting the amount he drinks after 5pm as well as making him go for a quick wee if he wakes in the night. I also find that Todd will often wake with a dry nappy, but will wee very shortly after waking up. So, if you hear your toddler stirring in the morning – be quick to jump up and get them on the loo as fast as possible. (We all love to jump out of bed early don’t we?! This is where Dads can help!).


Passing on the nappies
One of the great things about using cloth nappies like Bio-Babas is that you can pass them on. You can make your son feel really proud that he is out of nappies and such a ‘big boy’ by making a great gift of his Bio-Babas to a friend with a small baby or by packing them away in a special place for his next brother or sister!

Victoria Penfold
Cape Town
South Africa
Bio-Baba washable nappies/diapers
+27 21 761 8982
Cell: +27 83 60 111 45